An update on life in general

Thanks to the Queen of Kammebornia, who left a comment on my last post, I came back and read my last entry. An update is in order!
Physically, I'm still working at the same ward as a year ago, but the patient category has changed completely. Turns out, the hospital needed more beds devoted to acute internal medicin and infection, so all of my colleagues moved to another facility with the medically completed patients. I couldn't commute there, so I chose to stay and see what will happen here. We started the "new" ward on 16th of September, so everything is still in the works and no routines have set yet. All of my co-workers are new at the ward, a couple are brand new nurses who graduated in June, and we can't ask the older and wiser nurse because she doesn't work here.
I am now a "section leader" which means I am the boss' right hand. It also means I am always on the run, helping people with everything and nothing - drawing blood, finding pillows, ordering drugs, cleaning book-cases and organizing in general. I try to help out on the floor as much as possible, but so far I've been far too busy making sure we have all the supplies we need. I enjoy it immensely, but I am as dead as a shot duck when I get home in the afternoon. Even so, I've managed to knit quite a lot in september - or perhaps it's because I needed it to relax?

I had fun making this collage, and I know I enjoy "end of the month"-collages when they end up on other blogs, so I'll see if I will do this again. I'm not making any promises though, I know myself well enough to know it might not happen...

It's fall, and I've been a bad blogger

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am not the most diligent blogger around. If you're reading this, I'm guessing you've already discovered that, but still find it interesting to see what I'm up to occasionally.

Since January I've graduated (I am now a RN, with the diploma to prove it), started working as a nurse at a stroke unit at the local hospital, and I've been knitting like I'm obsessed. Which usually is how my crafting works; for the past 7 years I've been an obsessed cross-stitcher, but now I don't cross any stitches at all. I'm pretty sure I will be stitching again, but for now I am completely at peace with knitting. My yarn and knitting needles make stuff that I can use, my husband doesn't think it's too small and fiddly (which he usually said about the things I stitched) and my daughter can make a wish for a new hat and have it only a week later. I can even bring it to work and pick it up on my lunch and actually see results when I come home! Yes, I will probably make a summary with pics of my FO's sometime this fall :)

I must admit to throwing out a lot of xs magazines - I did flip through them first, and took out any charts I might want to do in the future, although I was very picky doing it. Not many charts survived, most have now been turned into milk or egg cartons I believe... I've even sorted out my RSS feeds, deleting a lot of the blogs I used to follow fervently when I was a stitcher. Instead, there are knitting blogs. And ravelry, of course. The know-it-all forum for people who enjoy yarn and chat about it, and plan what to knit next... I love it there!
But then again, I used to follow the EMS Cross Stitch Forum diligently, and when I checked the link now, I hadn't been there since May. And I know for a fact that I didn't do much there then either.

I hope this finds you well; I have a mini-teen to pick up from school in 10 minutes. We're going shopping for winter boots, and they "have to have a heel" according to H. She's got serious issues with clothes and hair these days, and she's not even 8 yet. And the temper on that girl! Oh boy, will I have my hands full when she's a proper teen...

Love and cherish the day,
Anne

Heartful encounters

I spent 6 hours in the car yesterday - driving to see my husband and daughter for a few hours, before going back to my parents' house in Norway.
I'm in Norway now, see - working my butt off at an old folks' home, trying to save our meager economy for the summer. I may have learnt a lot about the differences in care here and in Sweden, but my main lesson is this: I won't be doing it again.

Not that the work is a drag or staying with my parents is so horrible, but I just can't stand being without my SO and our daughter for this long again. I haven't been separated from my hubbie for this long since we met almost 14 years ago! I msut admit that I've always thought the reason why I didn't want to visit my parents more than a week had to do with the fact that nothing really happens here - but now I know better. My restlessness has always been due to the fact that I wanted/longed to go home to my SO.

It broke my heart yesterday, leaving them again instead of going home with them.I was so close to home, yet I had to go back to Norway instead. Yes, I cried. No, I couldn't muster the voice to say "I love you" because my tears were running down my cheeks. I had to text it afterwards instead. I asked my husband when he started missing me (H started missing me the other evening, when she knew she'd see me soon) - and he answered, with oh so soft eyes: "It must have been the evening before you left." And even though I knew he was saying it because it was what I wanted to hear, my heart went all mushy and soft when he said that.
I'd much rather work the night shift again (oh horrible thought) than to leave them like this again...

I have two more weeks here before going home for two weeks - only to come back for two more weeks of work in August. I have a distinct feeling I will be very fed up with my new-found and self-inflicted solitude and independence once this summer has gone...

The upside to this? I've got loads of time for reflection and to knit myself a pair of socks...

Last day of an era

So the final day is here. It feels good, I only have some cardboard boxes of old papers to throw out and some personal stuff to carry out to the car left to do here. And of course eat cake, but that's purely recreational! :)

We went out for lunch and just made it back before the rain started, so all in all my stomach feels good about this. Too bad I'm taking the bus home though, I have sandals and stuff to carry in addition to the umbrella... Exported all my personal files and contacts to USB-sticks, so there is now nothing left except to turn the voice-mail on and close the door.

I have been accepted to the school, so that's final at last. Even though I counted on it, it still feels differently when I have seen it black on white on my computer screen. It feels like I have landed somehow...

That's it for now, I think I will have a bit of a summer holiday!

The day next to the last...

So, today is Thursday, and tomorrow is my last day here at work. My last day as a regular worker for about three years (not counting summer jobs or work practice). I feel like I'm being left out of the loop somehow - and yet, I really look forward to step outside the box! I'll be somewhere else with studies, Hannah will be starting school next autumn - I wonder how everything will work out with time and money...
I'm cutting ties here, and I feel a little like a baby - like I have no clothes on, and everything is brand new and shining. I understand completely why babies cry...

Hubby thinks I lack a purpose with my life, and to a degree I think he's been right - this autumn will show if I have found my meaning and direction.

Things are getting better at home - we still have days when we don't speak to eachother and others when we shout, but all in all it feels better now. S has seen a therapist who gave him a few new tools in his toolbox, among which the most important is probably the power lever.
He's always had too much ambition and too much speed to cope with other people _not_ wanting to go fast forward, but now he is on his way to learn that you can't go full speed in a pedestrian area - it's dangerous not only to others, but to yourself as well... He's also had to learn that he can't do everything for everyone, and there's no point worrying about things you cannot change. (And if you can change them, why worry? just do it!)
My balance is improving! I can do pirouettes on my ballet shoes now... *v*

I am both stitching and knitting, and being the obsessive personality that I am, I now collect free digital scrapbooking stuff too. Come this autumn, I might actually get to use all the digiscrap stuff, when I am a student I get Adobe Photoshop at a fairly reasonable price. :) I tried the test version for a month, and I count the weeks until I can finally have a copy on my computer... We have lots of fun planned for this summer, so I just have to remember not only to BRING the camera, but to USE it as well!

On a digiscrap/blogging note: Does anyone know how to change the background image on the template? I've got some beautiful .png files that I would love to have here... Yes, I will of course give full credit when I find out how to do it.

Until next time - may the lillies of peace be with you.

With a little help from my friends...

Well, ok, lenghty e-mail conversation with Angela (thank you Angela, you're one of the angels in disguise, I think!) have made me at least get my ballet shoes on, and since they're made for standing on the toes, I'm a little more secure again. Not that afraid of falling, because I've realized that even though it will hurt, I will not be falling down a cliff :)

I have only 9 working days left on this job, and then I get to go to the unemployment office and say that I have nothing to do... It will probably end up with me having a bit longer summer holiday than normal, because I count on starting my studies in the end of August - and I can't imagine the unemployment office telling me to get a job for three weeks, because it usually takes a lot longer to even FIND a job here. Even more so now when there will be so many "redundant" people coming from Volvo Cars in Gothenburg (they have said about 2000 people will be redundant - 1200 employed, the last 800 are consultants)...

I'm lonely at work without my beloved colleagues, and not that much less lonely at home (we don't speak much at the moment, will have to try to work on that) so I've once again started eating to comfort myself. My body apparently runs best on chocolates... I don't worry too much about that, as I said I only have two weeks left until my "holidays" begin, and we don't keep much candy and sweets at home. Besides, I'll be with our daughter, so I will keep my hands occupied with her.

I get freaked out at times, thinking about life as a grown up student with family, and then as a nurse, but it's very much like the feelings I had when I was pregnant with Hannah - and that worked out OK, I don't think I've been the world's worst mum yet...

Post number 100!

The previous post was actually number 100! I didn't realize it when I posted, probably because I had approximately 100 gazillion things in my head at the same time... So, happy 101st to me! :)

We had our "farewell to the marketing department-lunch" today. All of us who were currently employed, 4 persons, plus the two from the R&D department we've worked the most with - one of which has already left the company to work with a major car manufacturer in the area(he's a brilliant engineer and a really good person, as well as looking great ;) ). The other is the only one who stays...
It was a great lunch - we talked about the past, the present and the future, and agreed that we'll meet for a barbecue later this summer. Too bad the hour ended all too soon, though. Great food and a banana split for dessert suited us perfectly, especially as the company will pay for it all ;)

I will miss seeing them every day, but it's not like life has ended with this - we're all still living in the same area, so it shouldn't be that hard to meet up every now and then. In case some of them read this: I love you guys! <3

June

Life is spinning my head around - stuff keep happening all the time, and I barely have the time to think it over.
Remember I told you about lots of people being sacked at my job? Well, it turned out they chose to make do without the entire sales and marketing department. Some might remember what my prediction was one month ago - and it seems I was very much correct in all my assumptions. The only thing the folks who are left there now have to wait for, is the day when the biggest customer decide that they no longer want our products on the new models. (Yep, we're talking cars and car accessories here - big swedish car manufacturer anyone?) Too bad the R&D manager now got what he wanted - he's never thought anything good about sales/marketing... He's one of those people who think they know best, even when they don't - and he certainly won't fess up to the fact that he might be mistaken!

My colleague C went home the same day he was told he had to leave - he's always said that's the way he wanted to do it, but I've never seen him so upset in the two years I've worked with him. As far as the money and the law is considered, he'll be on the payroll for at least 3 more months - and then it's back to looking for a job. He was in his 25th year at the Firm, although the company has changed names two or three times in those years. The knowledge he possesses is amazing, and now the Firm has chosen not to give the customers any technical or other support. The Firm will only sell the products, not tell the customers what to do if something goes wrong. It could work if they were Toyota and "never" had any problems with their products - but they're not...

My other colleague M will be leaving at midsummer's day. (Big holiday here, btw.) She's so sad - to make matters worse, she was the one negotiating for the union together with an objective union rep, so she's known about this for quite some time without being able to say a word to anyone. To top it all off, she's recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis AND gluten intolerance...

I (and N, who I'm subbing for) will be going to school in the fall, and all sorts of thoughts run through my head about that. Can we stay in our house or do we still need to move? Do we need another car? (We sold ours, hubby has a company car now and I take the bus.) Will we manage as a family, through thick and thin? (No, we're not married, we just live together and have done so for 10 years now.)

But my heart really goes out to M and C - their lives have lost the stability, and everything will need to be changed accordingly. C doesn't take that well to change, he's one of those who take some time before they get used to different routines... I'm not that worried about M - she has her PT course later this summer, and as soon as she gets back up from being knocked down, she'll be fine. She just became a grandmother again (yes, she started early, she's not even 50 yet) and has a new baby boy to keep her on track. He's a cutie, she sent me a MMS with his pic :)

AND to top all of this, I've got the worst summer cold ever. I can't remember having such a cold in summer ever before, so now I get to stay in bed and be fragile for a while ;)

On the upside, our pond goldfish have plenty of babies - does anybody need some? I wish you all a good week!

Life is a rollercoaster...

You just gotta ride it! (to quote a rather famous song)

I've been on such highs and lows these past three days, I can hardly believe it myself. Persons in the company's leading team using foul language about employees - to their face! - and saying what's been agreed and signed on, no longer is valid. Computers acting up like crazy. People not telling us that they don't have the time to ship to our customers until it is too late - so we've basically been lying to our customers for two days about the delivery date! People not being at their desk, so I get stuck with all customer calls, invoicing, orders and purchasing - I've hardly had the time to breathe! I wonder how the h*** the company is supposed to survive if three more people in the office are supposed to quit, not to mention how we're supposed to manage production with 7 people less down there...

My prediction? What will be left here in three years, is the production facility, production manager, purchasing of raw material and goods in/out. No economy department, no sales department, no R&D department... These days I'm rather happy I will be going to school this autumn instead of working here, because this is unbearable much longer. There's no spunk left in people, and the spiral is only going down...

And then again, we've laughed so hard we cried, hugged eachother and said nice things to eachother... We're going to see yet another house the coming Monday, but I can't really seem to get up the excitement about it - I'm a bit tired it seems.

Life is truly a rollercoaster!

We got it!

They took our offer on the house! So now we have to get the official OK-stamp on it, and then we sign the papers. Sooooo many thoughts running through my head right now, cleaning out our current home to make the move easier, and not to mention make the sales pictures look better! Home styling, anyone?

On a less happy note they have now officially warned us that there will be layoffs at work this summer. 10 people will be forced to leave, from an already slim staff. They've gone through this for several years in a row now, mainly because the managers are unwilling to get more customers - they rely solely on our biggest customer, and when the big customer lose sales big time in the US that affects our sales directly... I'm on a short term contract, so I'm not affected more than that my contract won't be prolonged - which is according to plan, as I intend to start studying this fall. But the really scary thing is that they will probably cut where the cuts are really noticeable - sales/marketing and customer support + production. How do they plan on selling more to other customers if they don't have customer support and a sales department who can answer calls????? I give up, I go home in stead.

(And yes, when we planned for buying a new house, we made our budget based on me studying, so losing my job doesn't change any of that. At least there is some light in the tunnel for me personally!)

Houses, houses...

People have hinted that they want to know the status on the house-thing... Well, so would I.
The houseowners wanted to think about our offer over the weekend, and we wanted to have a ventilation-guy look at the heating system (it's some kind of heated air-system which I've never seen before) - which he did today with my hubby, so now we know that part of it is good to go. Back to waiting... The REA said that everything should be decided this week, so hopefully we'll know if we need to start packing this weekend!

On another note, I've been on the road for two days now, visiting our biggest customers and our distributor. It's four-hour drives everywhere, so these two days together got me through an entire audio book (11 cd's). With driving the wrong way and seeing parts of roads I really didn't need to know about, I've spent 17 hours on the road - thank goodness the company car is an automatic, so I just have to think about steering and keeping up the speed... I eat lots of cashew nuts when I drive to keep myself occupied, so I seriously need to go to the gym tomorrow! I actually look forward to the sweating and aching - I think my friend the gym coach has corrupted my previously so lazy and laid-back me! :) (She's actually going to class this summer to be a certified Personal Trainer - so I'm her guinea pig and first customer.)

I'm anxiously waiting for H to come home now - she's been with her grandparents these two days, so I REALLY want a 4 1/2 year old girlie hug now!

A new year with new chances

Back on the job again, with new memories from a Christmas and a New Year's Eve that definitely won't be remembered for its special cozy family gatherings... We spent most the Christmas break apart, and when we did see each other, we were arguing. Life isn't easy here... Enough said about those things!

H has come down with a cold that, according to the doc, has decided to reside in her tummy - so she wakes up every few hours at night, crying with pain. The only thing to do is give her pain meds, and because they only last for 4-6 hours and she refuses to take them at night, we're stuck with her crying from about 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. when I get up for work. She's been like that for a week now, so hubby is taking her to his mum for safe keeping a couple of days so we can get some sleep. And probably we'll be arguing a bit as well, as he's decided H is sick because H and I went to my parents' house for a couple of days. As if she wouldn't catch colds anyway...

We've changed office at work, so everything is a mess, but we're getting there. Looks horrible though - the office is smaller than the one we had, the sounds carry throughout the floor, so it isn't fun at the moment. Plus I've got a soar throat, so talking on the phone all day isn't exactly what I dream of...

I have a couple of small finishes, and a list of stitching goals to post. Will do so when time permits!

This past weekend

Whew - the weekend is over! I love my parents and my nephew, but I'm not used to having that much NOISE around me! My nephew and H played really well together, despite the 5 year difference in age - they kicked some ball in the hallway (all doors closed makes a fab 4-meter stretch), beaded a bit, chased eachother... :) All was well and H loved her first birthday party! :)She got a beautiful red watch from her grandad, and it almost hasn't left her arm since. She keeps checking what time it is... She also got really nice presents from her auntie (my sis), my brother's kids, and a beautiful little porcelain figurine with a child saying the Lord's prayer from my brother; that one has to stand at her place at the dining table so she can admire it all the time...

Friday was a pain in the B... Snowing and raining, early start in the dark, so it was really hard on the eyes. Then a few more ok hours in the car, we went to the meeting like we were supposed to, and then head back - and the snowing started again. This time the snow was dry though, so the visibility was good. I made a stop at IKEA to buy some shelves for my "crafties" and a very nice man helped me load the (surprisingly heavy) shelves in the car. TG for Estate cars and helpful strangers!
I started driving at 6 in the morning and got home at 7 in the evening, so it was a really long day. I was exhausted and fell asleep at 10 without as much as making a stitch...

My dad helped hubby put the book shelves together on saturday and took the old shelves apart and put it in their van. I think we made a really good deal - I got two bookshelves (Billy 80x194) and they got my old one (120x190). They needed it for stuff in their bedroom... Of course there were two screws missing from the IKEA doors, but IKEA is always very helpful when it comes to nuts and bolts - just give them a call and they'll put whatever is missing in an envelope and send it to you. :) So I now have excellent shelving for my stuff - I could even fit my sewing machine! I don't think I'll post any pics though, I need some boxes to put my fabrics in before it looks perfect behind the doors... But now at least I have doors I can close on my mess, and hubby is happy he doesn't have to see it! :)

On the stitching side of things I discovered a band sampler SAL over at http://tites-croix-de-caro.over-blog.com with great pics of all the stitches, so I had to start it yesterday. So far, I've finished the three first bands - I HAD to do something other than my secret stitching, although I should really get a move on that now... Xmas is closing faster than I thought, I have to finish H's advent calendar as well. At least now when I've got my new shelves, I know where the hangers for her calendar are! ;)

Pics will come when the timing is right... Until then, happy stitching!

Secrets...

I don't have much to post now, as I'm working on a secret project for someone who occasionally reads this blog. But I promise to show pics once the project is completed and delivered! :)

I've been really lazy with the SBQ's lately as well; I will try to do better from now on!

I'm going to meet one of our biggest customers on Friday; first we were planning on taking the train there, and then it turned out I wouldn't be back here until 8 in the evening, so now I'm planning to take the company car there and back. It's a four hour drive each way, so it will be a long day no matter how I try to twist my tail... My parents are coming this weekend to celebrate little H's 4th birthday (the 27th), so the big question is wether they'll be here on Friday or Saturday? Will I be home when they get here? How many cars can we fit on our driveway? One in the garage, one outside - can we squeeze in two cars outside, or should I take the company car back to work asap on saturday morning? Questions, questions... I'll let you know the answers to all of this when it is all over! :)

Long time no write...

I can't believe it's actually been almost a month since the last time I posted! I just have to face it - blogging regularly isn't my thing... I hope you won't hate me for that? *trying to look extremely cute*

I've been extremely busy at work; actually I have about a dozen things I need to do right now as well, but my guilty conscious was running havoc on me. The thing is, they've given our department more things to do, which we haven't done before, and we haven't been given the manhours to do them. So we stress on, and before long we will snap and crackle before the boss' office door. We've been told to prioritize - as if we weren't already doing that! At least we have been heard complaining about the situation, even if nothing really has changed. Some people here still don't think we have anything to do in my department, but they also think that sales and marketing can be removed completely from a company without anyone really noticing...

At home, I've been working my way through the three last Harry Potter books in english. I'm on the last one now, so don't expect me to come out of hiding again for a couple of days! The final battle is drawing close...

I've been working on my L&L angel as well, she's got a face, wings and all, now it's down to the beads and the PB01-gold :) Feels good, I might actually finish her before Christmas! ;) Updated WIP-pic will come when I've finished my HP book!

I've started pondering Christmas pressies too - some, like my sis, will get a nice lavender bag to keep in their underwear drawer or somewhere else where they might want something to smell nice. I've already completed the bag for my sis, I just need the final finishing touches - a ribbon to tie it on top, and the lavender itself. I have it all at home, so it's the same thing there - pic coming when I come out of my HP obsession :)

Well, I've got to finish the last 100 pages of HP now, so I can get everything else done! Tada for now!

Stress...

I really only have one word for today:

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Sometimes I think I'm going out of my mind - and today is no exception... So much to do at work that my brains shut down... I want to go home now!!!

Biscornu exchange

So I mailed my biscornu for the EMS exchange yesterday - I forgot my camera, so I took pics of it with my mobile phone. Needless to say, the quality was less than excellent... I can't show the pics here yet anyway, as I don't know if my exchange partner has received it yet! I don't want to spoil the surprise... ;)

I've got a small project for myself too - I'm moving all the new freebies from the laptop to the stationary computer. And I can't seem to find the USB cable, so I use my USB memory stick as temporary storage - it'll probably take a little while to move everything, and then I have to sort the freebies into the correct folders as well... Why oh why do I do these things to myself! I really need to get an external hard drive to keep all my stitchy files in! :)

I've started my second L&L angel as well - nothing to show yet, but I will post pics as soon as it looks like something!

Decisions, decisions...

OK, so it's time to decide what to do with my future, and I've gotten a little more info on what's to come at work, so the decisions wasn't that hard after all.
I'll take their offer to continue working here until christmas, and then I may or may not (depending on work) start my studies in January 2008 in stead. They really don't want to lose me NOW, but they can't promise that my job will exist for an entire year... It's a good thing I've already thought of studying, or I think I would panic! Being unemployed really isn't my cup of tea, I hated every second of it; even though it was rather nice getting to sleep in every day I got so lazy and bored I could hardly clean the house when I was alone...

I'm definitely going to start studying, the only question is WHEN. If it weren't for our financial situation, I would start this fall, but there's a house to paint, a garage door to change and a bathroom to pay for...

Speaking of the house, I went on a real roadtrip on saturday - I picked up a small trailer and headed for a place I'd never been before to pick up some timber for our house. (We have to change some of the wall boards - they've gotten mushy!) Got a printed map from the internet from the guy who'd sold us the boards, got in the car and drove off. My father in law was with me to read the map, but the only problem was - the map didn't show any of the important pieces! So we headed out north where we should've headed south, and ended up with a 60 km round trip in Dalsland (our area). Thank goodness the weather was good! It was kind of nice, but a lot of time was spent there that could've been spent taking down the old boards... Lesson learnt? Always check the map on the internet yourself or take someone with you who has just the slightest knowledge of the area...

Typical...

Isn't it just grand - I'm at home with a sick little girl, and I'm not feeling too good myself... Hannah keeps coughing without anything really happening, and she's got a fever as well. Called the doctor, and the only response is "it's everywhere now" and a prescription for some really strong cough syrup, with morphine in it... Not much help in it, though, Hannah was coughing from 1 till 2.30 this morning. We're all tired, and I hear in my voice that it's coming to get me too. But I can't afford being ill now, we're going to Copenhagen the coming weekend!

My new colleague keeps calling me asking questions, she only works there part time, but now she's suddenly doing 3 times the work in the same time - and she's new and doesn't know everything yet. I can't blame her for calling me to help, but I get tired afterwards...

To wrap it up: I hate being ill... :(

Stress at work...

Phew - I can finally breathe again! It's been hectic, frantic, stressful, awful at work today. It's the last day of the month (obviously) and, as everyone working with economics know, everything have to be invoiced and ready to close the books on this month. So I've been stressing around, trying to do twice as much as I normally do, all the while customers are calling and e-mailing, wanting the same response time and service as usual.

I got my lunch-hour anyway, just because I had an appointment with the hairdressers - no, I didn't cut much, just the worn bits! :) And yes, my hair looks fabulous :D

I haven't had much stitching time lately, because I've had too much other stuff going on. BUT I have received a long awaited, almost forgotten, gift from Iagal - a scroll frame! I've mounted my christmas stocking on it, so now I'm ready to try it on for size. :) *thank you, thank you, thank you + lots of love* to Iagal, my almost-step-floss-mom; if I may call you that?

I got my first World of Cross Stitching yesterday - and I thought I wasn't going to start my sub until March... Hey, I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised! Lots of cutesy patterns, although nothing I can really see myself stitching all of. Might pick some pieces here and there, though! :)