Heartful encounters

I spent 6 hours in the car yesterday - driving to see my husband and daughter for a few hours, before going back to my parents' house in Norway.
I'm in Norway now, see - working my butt off at an old folks' home, trying to save our meager economy for the summer. I may have learnt a lot about the differences in care here and in Sweden, but my main lesson is this: I won't be doing it again.

Not that the work is a drag or staying with my parents is so horrible, but I just can't stand being without my SO and our daughter for this long again. I haven't been separated from my hubbie for this long since we met almost 14 years ago! I msut admit that I've always thought the reason why I didn't want to visit my parents more than a week had to do with the fact that nothing really happens here - but now I know better. My restlessness has always been due to the fact that I wanted/longed to go home to my SO.

It broke my heart yesterday, leaving them again instead of going home with them.I was so close to home, yet I had to go back to Norway instead. Yes, I cried. No, I couldn't muster the voice to say "I love you" because my tears were running down my cheeks. I had to text it afterwards instead. I asked my husband when he started missing me (H started missing me the other evening, when she knew she'd see me soon) - and he answered, with oh so soft eyes: "It must have been the evening before you left." And even though I knew he was saying it because it was what I wanted to hear, my heart went all mushy and soft when he said that.
I'd much rather work the night shift again (oh horrible thought) than to leave them like this again...

I have two more weeks here before going home for two weeks - only to come back for two more weeks of work in August. I have a distinct feeling I will be very fed up with my new-found and self-inflicted solitude and independence once this summer has gone...

The upside to this? I've got loads of time for reflection and to knit myself a pair of socks...

Psych ward next...

I'm due at the psych ward in just 3 hours - as part of my training as a nurse, of course, what were you thinking! It is quite interesting to see, it is not like any other hospital ward I've seen. For one, all the patients use their own personal clothes. I understand why, it's just so unusual and quite striking when you first walk through the doors. Second, everything is locked - but then again, I expected that. Can't have suicidal patients with full access to shower hoses, belts or bath towels! Third - the staff wear long sleeves, rings, watches and fancy nails; a big no-no in the somatic care wards, here not so much. Do psych patients have better immune systems than other patients as a general? I think the rules should be the same no matter what part of a hospital you work in!

In other news, I've now aquired a summer job as a nurse assistant at an old folk's home back in Norway - it's a lot better paid than here in Sweden, so I'll just have to suck it up and miss little H and big S for a month this summer. H will then be joining me for a couple of weeks and spend time with her grandparents while I'm at work, and then we go home again. I have plans to ride my bike to work as well, so I might even get a little fitter as a bonus. I've got a mix between good and bad feelings about this - I know I'll miss them both a lot when I'm there on my own, but at the same time I can forget about the constant bad conscience for leaving H at school for such long hours - I'll actually be having more "free" time than I've had in a long time! And of course, it also means that I'll be having a proper summer vacation before school starts again, to do whatever we want :)

I took H with me to Norway this past weekend when I had my job interview, and we had the best spring weather ever - the sun was shining, there was no wind, the birds were singing and the barbecue got fired up. I've even got a teeny bit of a tint on my cheeks! It felt good - relaxed, sunny, warm in our hearts... And then we drove home, and we both got flat and numb butts from sitting in the car seats for so long - and we did stop for a break. If anyone knows how to avoid that, please let me know. I fear my butt will otherwise be completely flattened out this summer, and a flat but wide butt isn't exactly what I had in mind.

No internet connection...

...means I'm suffering from severe withdrawal!!! I can't believe it's been this long without an update, and we still don't have an internet connection at home, so I had to go to the public library to get some satisfaction ;)

The move went well - I did the best I could, staying away from S and his family of movers extraordinaire, and it all got moved. But I'll tell you this: NEVER ever move to a SMALLER house without being prepared to throw away a lot of stuff!!! The rental is a LOT smaller, mostly due to the fact that we only have a shed (kind of) to store stuff in, and there is no storage space in the house. We moved from a huge garage, an fantastic attic AND a guest house into a 2-bedroom house without any of the aforementioned storage facilities. We had to throw out lots of stuff that first week, just so we could get our bikes in the shed... 6 full carloads of stuff, to be specific.

Good thing is, without storage space S decided I could unpack all of my crafty stash, so that's readily available whenever I get the mojo working again. Right now, I'm busy with work (night shift) and getting some sort of vacation together with my family. I'll be going to London next weekend with S, just to see Martina McBride in concert - I think it's the most expensive concert I've ever been to... Not the concert in itself, but with travels and hotel it adds up to about SEK 12.000:- I don't think we'll be doing THAT anytime soon again!

H and S have been exploring all the playgrounds in the area, and the one next to our new house is a really good one, albeit very difficult for smaller children. There's a good climb to get to the slide, so H needs help EVERY time to get up there. I feel sorry for the little 'uns who don't get to slide, there's only swings and sand for them.

Now I have some reading online to do - but I'll try to keep the blog a little more updated, now that I've discovered how the public computers in the library work! :)

Lots of love,
Anne

Moving!

Time sure does fly when there's a lot to be done... We've been packing, packing and packing - the truck leaves on saturday morning! Today I'll be packing most of the kitchen utensils, except the really necessary ones of course - three plates, cutlery, a frying pan and something to cook stuff in, and it goes without saying that the coffee maker will be the last thing we pack. Can't have help without coffee to keep them going! The windows are mostly empty; we threw out some of our old plants yesterday, and the curtains are washed and hung, ready for my MIL to iron and hang in the new house (gotta keep her busy as well).

The main plan will be to transport H's room and her toys on the first load, and then H and MIL can stay at the rental to set up H's new room while the rest of us go back here and pick up another load. Unload, lunch, get in the truck again and pick up (hopefully) the last load. We'll put most of the banana cartons (yep, that's what we're packing up all our stuff in - that's a LOT of banana cartons!) in the storage and in the attic, and then we'll take our time unpacking only the most necessary stuff. After all, we'll be moving again before Christmas, so there's no use unpacking everything.

We have had some time to do fun stuff too, H and I - we've been to the beach a few times with my new friends from school (T and L - they both have kids about the same age as H), and H is loving it. I've even immersed myself in the wet stuff at the beach! It's actually kinda hot here - 30 deg. Celcius is high temps for Sweden, and we've been having it for a week now. I actually look like I've been outside, instead of my more normal "white as a sheet"-appearance. (Usually I take great comfort in what my mum (the nutty brown summer one) keeps saying: "White man should be white.")

I've had some time left in the evenings to do some finishing as well, but of course I've now packed my camera cord somewhere, so I can't upload any pics to the computer...

When we were at my parents' for a week, I had a morning in town all by myself - and of course I found myself a crafters shop - Lines hobby - with the most dreamy of all sewing rooms. About 40 m2 of fabrics, patterns, bags, books and everything associated with fiber crafts, with samples and all. I found a Rosalie Quinlan bag I wanted to do, and got some help finding the perfect fabrics for it - it will be a fantastic autumn bag, with sunflower lining :) I absolutely did not plan on spending all my money there - I was looking for a new belt for my jeans, for crying out loud! - but how could I not? It was a quilter's dream come true, and I'm not even a quilter! I'll have to remember to bring extra cash for stash shopping the next time we go visit my parents ;)

Now I have some packing to do, and no idea when I'll be online again. We don't have a telephone line or a broadband connection at the rental house (houseowner's mistake, not ours), but I'll do my best to come back here some time later in July. If all else fails, I'll go to the library and use the computers there. Until next time, all my love

This year's finals

are OVER!!! Yippee!!! I'm so happy, now I'm having a summer vacation - at least for a couple of weeks, then I get to practice a little in care of the elderly in my NEW home town :) I've got about 10 night shifts, and an unknown number of day shifts in the home care - it's not a huge income, but I think it will be enough - I need my summer holiday as well, to craft, move and muster up some energy for next school year.

Today I sang with the church choir for the last time, too. I kept thinking that this was it, and then had to remind myself that I have 4 more solo performances with my choir leader Ruben until we move. Actually, the two last performances will be when we HAVE moved, and the very last one is the day we sign the release forms on the house... Ruben had bought everyone a small "thank you for this year"-gifts - the little 'uns got small silver heart pendants, the bigger ones got bigger silver crosses (kinda celtic) - and I got a short speech before he presented me with a beautiful gold heart and chain. I'm wearing it now - and I will certainly remember my choir every time I see it. Not that I would forget them without it, but you know what I mean.

Stitching wise I have nothing to show - not that I haven't done any stitching, but my camera is acting up on me, and I've ordered a new one. I've completed the Just Nan Sizzle (both the "over the top" and the "in the tin" parts), and yesterday I started on something I've wanted to stitch for SOOOOO long now - the Lavender & Lace "The spirit of Christmas" (The pic is borrowed from Marilyn's garden, a yahoo group - I hope mine will look as good as this when it's all done and framed.)


Other than that - I've tried AGAIN to buy myself a Barbie to model for me, and this time I specifically said to little H that she is ALL MINE - it seems to be working ;) I've started cutting fabric for a white dress from the pattern of the fabulous molendrix (at least that's what it says on the pattern), which I hope to have completed this week. After all, that's what glorious sunshine and spare time is supposed to be spent doing, isn't it?

I've had it!

...with Internet Explorer, that is. So I've "upgraded" to Firefox - it remains to be seen if it really is better, but I'll give it a go before deciding! So far, it looks a lot faster.

Other news: We've been to Dalarna for a couple of days - Hannah's choice btw. She wanted very much to see where dalahorses are made and how they do it... We had a good time, on the second day we went to Santa's world and met all kinds of creatures - Santa, of course, a wood fairy, a troll, a witch, a fairy tale princess, lots of gnomes and normal animals as well. The witch and the troll were scary, the wood fairy was the best. The lady of the woods (= Huldran) was very beautiful, but a bit scary - she might snatch one of us to live in the woods! Hubby naturally hurt his back lifting Hannah, so the drive home was a bit too long with a 4-year old and hubby insisted on driving. Men! Speaking of which, he's at the chiropractor's right now - I hope it gets sorted, on Monday we're going to Vimmerby to see Astrid Lindgren's world - another choice Hannah's made. :) After that, it'll be all relaxation - nothing more planned.

I've ordered my first school books, so I can start reading at once - it never hurts to be prepared! I'm guessing school will be hard enough anyway, so I'll try my best to get some reading done now. As I said in my last post, I went to an information meeting at the school, and they told us the basics - what my title will be when I'm done (Degree of Bachelor of Science with a major in nursing, thank you very much), how the classes are taught, and a quick run-through of the first course. We'll be doing one course at the time, two courses each term and the years are sorted into themes to keep it easier for us. We will be residents on several occasions, on several different places to make sure we will have seen most of the different types of work we will encounter later on.
The first course is heavy, with lots of work, so that the ones who don't cope with it will drop out quickly... I hope I'm not one of them!!! o_O The books are a heavy load as well, for the first course the books cost about SEK 4200 / $680 if I buy them all new... I'm counting on getting some of them from the library, but 80% of the books are books we need through all 3 years.

I'm very happy that I've been able to save a little money when I was working, even though I've had some major S.E.X. lately just to be able to stitch even if I can't buy... ;)