Exam stress

So, the stress of being in school finally caught up with me. I have trouble focusing, butterflies have moved in permanently in my guts, I can't fall asleep at night, and I have this restlessness that leads nowhere. Spells out stress to anyone who knows anything about the central nervous system... So how do I get rid of it, other than getting this exam (saturday) over and done with? Now that my stress is full fledged, I can see that it has been building ever since school started. And I don't have the option of letting my studies lie for a while, I have to keep up to survive financially - and postponing my major paper wouldn't be helping anything (that's what's next on my schedule this fall). I only have 8 months of school left before I'm an RN! - I can see the goal, but the road is so long...

I'll do what I can, though - cut down on non-essential computer time (that means no games, no facebook, no casual websurfing) and try to eat healthy and go to bed in time. At least I get good sleep when I finally fall asleep, unless there is a little girl crying because her butthole is itching (I kid you not, she really did cry over that last night) or because she has nightmares and won't walk through the dark house to our bed all on her own.

Any tips on how to deal with stress would be greatly appreciated - I really feel like life sucks right now. Maybe a bottle of red and a pizza after this exam would help? ;)

Heartful encounters

I spent 6 hours in the car yesterday - driving to see my husband and daughter for a few hours, before going back to my parents' house in Norway.
I'm in Norway now, see - working my butt off at an old folks' home, trying to save our meager economy for the summer. I may have learnt a lot about the differences in care here and in Sweden, but my main lesson is this: I won't be doing it again.

Not that the work is a drag or staying with my parents is so horrible, but I just can't stand being without my SO and our daughter for this long again. I haven't been separated from my hubbie for this long since we met almost 14 years ago! I msut admit that I've always thought the reason why I didn't want to visit my parents more than a week had to do with the fact that nothing really happens here - but now I know better. My restlessness has always been due to the fact that I wanted/longed to go home to my SO.

It broke my heart yesterday, leaving them again instead of going home with them.I was so close to home, yet I had to go back to Norway instead. Yes, I cried. No, I couldn't muster the voice to say "I love you" because my tears were running down my cheeks. I had to text it afterwards instead. I asked my husband when he started missing me (H started missing me the other evening, when she knew she'd see me soon) - and he answered, with oh so soft eyes: "It must have been the evening before you left." And even though I knew he was saying it because it was what I wanted to hear, my heart went all mushy and soft when he said that.
I'd much rather work the night shift again (oh horrible thought) than to leave them like this again...

I have two more weeks here before going home for two weeks - only to come back for two more weeks of work in August. I have a distinct feeling I will be very fed up with my new-found and self-inflicted solitude and independence once this summer has gone...

The upside to this? I've got loads of time for reflection and to knit myself a pair of socks...

Facebookers anonymous

I have a confession to make: I once vowed I would NEVER join Facebook, simply because it suddenly was all over and "everyone" was connected online. I kinda like being anonymous online...

And what have I done? I joined for the sole purpose of perhaps being one of ten movie ticket winners! I sold out too easily.
The thing is, I kinda like it. I get to see what my school mates are up to, even if we don't see eachother right now, and I have found a lot of my long lost high school friends. I haven't decided what to do with that knowledge yet though - do they even want to know what's happening in my life right now? Or is it the other way around, that we will once again feel that little bond, just because we know what's going on in eachother's lives? You know how it is, after graduation everyone says that they will never forget eachother and we must keep in touch, and here I am 18 years (!) later and haven't even tried remembering them at all. A lot of those old memories are better forgotten - will it all come back if we friend eachother? I'm not sure I want that, but it sure is interesting to see what became of them! One of my friends, who dreamt of being a clown when she grew up, is actually working on her masters in some technology-thing and I am seriously impressed. She doesn't look at all like I remembered her either (she's drop dead gorgeous now).

So, my question is: will it be like a permanent reunion, where everyone try to be the best they can to impress their old friends (one of my ex-boyfriends is on Facebook, and he is seriously working that bit) - or it will be more relaxed, like a fun garden party where there are no drunken mistakes and everyone is happy to see you?

We're moving!

Yay! We've finally taken over the house and started moving our stuff. Bit by bit, book by book, we're rebuilding our lives...
Speaking of which, when visiting IKEA in Gothenburg (to get some bits and pieces for the house, you know) I learned a hard lesson: DO NOT keep your mobile in your front pocket if you want to keep it! I took H and myself to the bathroom, and as I pulled up my pants and pushed the flush-button (multitasking as usual) I heard H say "Mum your camera" and looked down only to see my mobile get flushed. And gone it was. I have to admit, I even put my hand down there to reach it, but it was irrevocably gone. (Yes, I did wash my hands several times after doing that.)

It was only 6 months old, but still not worth the "self payment" on the insurance, so I had to dish out today to get a new one. I actually bought one exactly like the one I flushed, but I also invested in a mobile phone pocket thingy to hang in my jeans so I won't put it in my pocket again. Oh the times I have looked at those, thinking I could make one better, only to never get it done. That cost me SEK 2499.

And now I have to wait for a new SIM card to put in the new mobile so I can make calls again - I have to borrow big S' mobile tomorrow so I have one in case I need it when I'm off on the icy snowy roads to Trollhattan. (Yes, we had another snow storm and I had two (2!) properties to shovel the stuff away from.)

So, if you learn nothing else from this blog or me, learn this: Mobile phones do not belong in the pockets of females - that's why we have purses.