I've been working too much lately. Not that I've actually put in much longer hours, but my head is constantly spinning around work, my customers and how life will look if I do or don't start my studies this fall. I keep making plans and having ideas on how to organize my work so the company will do well, and then "stuff" happens and I remember that I've applied for nursing school this fall.
I've never felt so divided in all my life. On one hand, I've got a job with a boss that seems eager to give me a possibility to grow, not only duties and obligations. On the other hand I try to see into the future, a little longer than just a couple of years. Just going on the way I am today definitely has it's upsides to it, amongst others that I'll actually be making money for a change. But changing course in life and doing something completely different is very enticing - I could become a nurse! I've always loved studying, basically because I know I'm good at it, but it would also mean that our economy will be on the really low side for at least 3 years. If I go on to become a midwife, it will take another 2 years before I can get a job and make some money again.
I know, money shouldn't be the only thing I strive for, but being unemployed after having a child is definitely nothing you get rich from doing. I'm pretty fed up with having to check the budget every time I want to buy something for myself, and not having a penny left in the bank account when all the bills are paid every month.
My choice isn't made any easier by the current government's plan either - making life harder for those with the smallest bank account seems to be their agenda for the next 3 years. I can't afford not being able to get a summer job, because you get no money for being a student in summer anymore. Which also means that I HAVE TO start studying this fall, and not wait until spring, as I won't be able to find a summer job in my future line of work with only one term of studies in the bag.
No wonder I have no time for normal life, when my head keep spinning so fast I feel dizzy... If anyone has any good ideas, I'm all ears! - or eyes, in this case ;)