Life is catching up on me...

I've been working too much lately. Not that I've actually put in much longer hours, but my head is constantly spinning around work, my customers and how life will look if I do or don't start my studies this fall. I keep making plans and having ideas on how to organize my work so the company will do well, and then "stuff" happens and I remember that I've applied for nursing school this fall.

I've never felt so divided in all my life. On one hand, I've got a job with a boss that seems eager to give me a possibility to grow, not only duties and obligations. On the other hand I try to see into the future, a little longer than just a couple of years. Just going on the way I am today definitely has it's upsides to it, amongst others that I'll actually be making money for a change. But changing course in life and doing something completely different is very enticing - I could become a nurse! I've always loved studying, basically because I know I'm good at it, but it would also mean that our economy will be on the really low side for at least 3 years. If I go on to become a midwife, it will take another 2 years before I can get a job and make some money again.

I know, money shouldn't be the only thing I strive for, but being unemployed after having a child is definitely nothing you get rich from doing. I'm pretty fed up with having to check the budget every time I want to buy something for myself, and not having a penny left in the bank account when all the bills are paid every month.

My choice isn't made any easier by the current government's plan either - making life harder for those with the smallest bank account seems to be their agenda for the next 3 years. I can't afford not being able to get a summer job, because you get no money for being a student in summer anymore. Which also means that I HAVE TO start studying this fall, and not wait until spring, as I won't be able to find a summer job in my future line of work with only one term of studies in the bag.

No wonder I have no time for normal life, when my head keep spinning so fast I feel dizzy... If anyone has any good ideas, I'm all ears! - or eyes, in this case ;)