I'm in Norway now, see - working my butt off at an old folks' home, trying to save our meager economy for the summer. I may have learnt a lot about the differences in care here and in Sweden, but my main lesson is this: I won't be doing it again.
Not that the work is a drag or staying with my parents is so horrible, but I just can't stand being without my SO and our daughter for this long again. I haven't been separated from my hubbie for this long since we met almost 14 years ago! I msut admit that I've always thought the reason why I didn't want to visit my parents more than a week had to do with the fact that nothing really happens here - but now I know better. My restlessness has always been due to the fact that I wanted/longed to go home to my SO.
It broke my heart yesterday, leaving them again instead of going home with them.I was so close to home, yet I had to go back to Norway instead. Yes, I cried. No, I couldn't muster the voice to say "I love you" because my tears were running down my cheeks. I had to text it afterwards instead. I asked my husband when he started missing me (H started missing me the other evening, when she knew she'd see me soon) - and he answered, with oh so soft eyes: "It must have been the evening before you left." And even though I knew he was saying it because it was what I wanted to hear, my heart went all mushy and soft when he said that.
I'd much rather work the night shift again (oh horrible thought) than to leave them like this again...
I have two more weeks here before going home for two weeks - only to come back for two more weeks of work in August. I have a distinct feeling I will be very fed up with my new-found and self-inflicted solitude and independence once this summer has gone...
The upside to this? I've got loads of time for reflection and to knit myself a pair of socks...
1 comment:
{{{{{Hugs}}}}} I can't imagine missing my family like that! I hope you are able to get home soon!
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